If love hurts then I know it was love
by B. Davis
Summary: One shot. Brucas break up from Brooke's POV.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own OTH. And I'm too sleep to keep on babling here. Oh, I own some of Brooke's lines from her speech while Lucas did the voice over! Be nice and review, guys!

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**If love hurts then I know it was love**

I sat in my car in front of Lucas porch. I knew I had to do it but did I really want it? I guess I did. I stayed there for at least half an hour dreading whether I'd actually get out of the car or not. I knew Lucas was home, the lights from his room were on so why didn't he call me yet like he said he would?

I took a deep breath and got off the car and walked straight to his black door. I missed the time it was painted red. _I'm gonna miss the girl behind the red door. _You think he ever meant it? I guess back then he did. I heard his voice, and opened the door expecting to find Karen, even Haley there. But never I was gonna expect to see Peyton there. The nerve that bitch had, she was on my boyfriend's bed talking to him as if _she_ was his girlfriend!

"Hey, we were just…"

I cut Lucas off. I didn't wanna hear his excuses or apologies anymore. It was starting to sound like a broken record. And so were us.

"I'd like to talk to my boyfriend." I said staring at Lucas with a not so pleased face. Well, you couldn't really blame me. "Alone." I said then glaring deathly at Peyton. She and Lucas shared a look and she walked past me. "Nice try not hitting on him!" I snapped at her smiling sarcastically and then turned back at Lucas annoyed.

"Lucas, I'll get those CDs later." She said. "Thanks for the sex." She added in the fakest voice ever. See, that's the thing when your best friend turns into your worst enemy, she knows just where to hit, where it'll hurt the most. It too all the strength I had not to hit her again, but the thing is all she did was annoy me. Pretty bad. But it still gets to me how bitchy she could be. It was unbelievable.

Peyton exited Lucas room and I closed the door behind her. I had barely turned my back to it and Lucas was already standing and pointing outside.

"She's joking." I took a deep breathe obviously mad at the whole situation. OF COURSE SHE'S JOKING! I wanted to yell at Lucas for him being so clueless. She's joking with both of us. "I was trying to call you."

He must've been joking! "Oh, you mean when you weren't hanging out with Peyton?" I asked serious.

There it was, Peyton again butting in. If someone told me I'd had to share the boy I love with my best friend I wouldn't believe it. In fact I would've laughed. Sure best friends share everything but there's a line. And Peyton crossed that line. Twice!

"C'mon, Brooke. You never called me back." Lucas tried reasoning while chuckling.

Oh, this is funny now! Did _he_ call me back while he was away? Or… did he ever pay enough attention just to figure why I wasn't answering his calls?

"Now you know how I feel!" I snapped back at him with my hands on my waist. Lucas looked at me serious now. He knew whatever I was gonna say was serious. And I guess he could never guess what it was. I took a deep breath and walked foreword. I started talking calmer now. I didn't want us not talking to each other ever again. As much as he had hurt me, it was Lucas and I knew he'd always hold a part of me.

"Listen, I know it's been difficult lately. Losing Keith and your heart condition and giving up basketball." I took another breath and looked away from Lucas. Suddenly the floor seemed much more interesting. "I… I fell like…" I looked up trying to not look away from Lucas now. I had to do it and it had to seem like I meant it. "…I've been keeping you close to me to try and protect you from those things. That I'm hanging on the two of us for you… and not for me." I said firmly. I could feel my heart break as I was saying those things. It was true but I wished, really bad, that it wasn't.

"I'm sorry I kissed Peyton! I should've told you!" Lucas said exasperated. I guess he didn't know what else to say and went with the first thing that came to his mind. But the thing is… for the first time it wasn't about her. Why's it always about her?

"It's not about her, Luke. It's not…" I was about to start whining. "I-I know-…" I walked around his bed. "I thought that it was but it's not. This is not about her! This is about me…" I said as I sat on his bed.

We shared a look and I knew that if it lasted longer than it did I wouldn't be able to do that. Lucas knew it wasn't gonna be good, I could see it in his eyes but he had to know I still loved him.

"I love you, Lucas." He smiled at me and caressed my thigh. I knew he meant he loved me back and for a moment I thought I had gone so far just to give it all up. I thought I couldn't do it when I heard my voice starting to crack. "And I probably always will… But we go days without having a meaningful conversation and I used to miss you _so_ much when that happened." I had to keep it together, no matter what. I shrugged helplessly. "But it never seemed like you missed me." I stopped talking and looked at Lucas. He looked away, somewhat hurt. I don't know if he was hurt because of what I said… or if he was hurt because I thought he never missed me. "And I guess because of that I stopped missing you." I added quietly hoping he wouldn't listen to me but the look on his face. I knew he had heard me and I knew he was hoping it was all a big fat joke. I know I was putting my walls up again and he was the one supposed to break those walls again like he had done once before. "I mean, look at today, we never talked after the accident. Instead you were here. You shouldn't be hanging out with Peyton. You shouldn't laugh with Peyton." I said as I felt my eyes welling up with tears. Lucas shook his head, his eyes too were welling up with tears, and I could see it. "It shouldn't be like this, Luke."

"Brooke…" He said softly.

"I'm sorry… I can't do this anymore." I said almost losing it. I was tired of being his second best. I said it wasn't about Peyton but I guess in the end she was part of it and that's when it finally hit me it was always gonna be like that, me, Lucas… and Peyton.

I stepped closer to Lucas and kissed him on the head. I was not mad at him. I was just… broken. Once again Lucas Scott managed to break Brooke Davis' heart and this time it didn't took too much. Just knowing he didn't know me well enough to know what it was all about, to miss me, it was pretty much of a reason.

I stood up and walked to the door without ever looking back… but deep down I was hoping he'd go and never let me go again, like he said he wouldn't. When I reached the door I heard him calling my name.

"Brooke…"

I turned around and looked at him with a blank expression. Here's your chance, Lucas. Don't let me go, please.

"I'm sorry." He said hurt.

Of all the things he could say he had to go with an 'I'm sorry'! Although there was something different in that one, like 'back. me. done once before.e interesting. t'it seemed like he really meant it, with all his heart.

"Yeah, me too." I said nodding. I held his stare for a second and then turned around shaking my head. It wasn't right.

I left his room not even bothering to close the door behind me. As I was climbing down the steps of his porch I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I had a déjà vu for a second. I went to my car and got inside. I took a deep breath; it was for the better, right? But I still had to talk to someone about it. Like let it all out, cry if I had to and then laugh about it.

I started driving and ended up at Naley's. Was I being selfish for stopping by at this time of the night after everything they went through today? Before I could figure it out I found myself knocking on their door.

I waited not so patiently and soon a sleepy Haley opened the door.

"Hey Brooke." She said rubbing her eyes.

"Hey." I said quietly. "Hm… Ok, look, I know it's really late…" There I was rambling to get to the point. I always did that when I was nervous. "And it's been a long day but…" I could feel the tears starting to form again. I looked at Haley and kind smiled at her not feeling too comfortable with what was going on. "I need to talk to you."

Haley looked at me concerned and nodded then motioned for me to come in. "Yeah, come in." She said with a sympathetic smile as if sensing something was wrong.


End file.
